26th September ’17: Cookerphobia

Hello from The Colour File HQ 🌡🌴🌳🌿

Let me tell you a story of domestic hopelessness. One Christmas I decided to clean my oven. The upshot was that I filled the house with smoke, had a visit from red watch and developed what could best be described as ‘cookerphobia’. Nearly three years on (and many a microwave meal later) it’s been professionally cleaned, is no longer simply extra storage and is pretty much turkey-ready. No surprises but cooking isn’t exactly my forte (one-third of divorcees hate cooking for just themselves so that’s my excuse); neither is gardening, despite my love of green and greenery (I once peppered my friend’s allotment with bright blue slug pellets, only to discover I’d scuppered her organic gardening plans). Does being able to choose nice rugs and knowing what objects to use in a shelfie make up for this domestic ineptitude? I thought not. But at least we can chat about the decor when you pop round for a takeaway. Have a great day.

Martha, The Colour File x

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